That Four Letter Word

Do I even know what love is?

Does it come in fireworks and a huge dramatic splendor?

Or does it come quietly, softly and creeping up on you

until you're lying in bed and you think,

"Huh."

I don't think I know what love is, at least when it comes 

to boys.

But I know what it isn't.

And a certain boy is to blame, along with my blind eyes and wistful heart.

Now I feel like I'm broken and I don't know what to believe.

Three years ago I was as soft as butter, emotionally.

And I was in love with the idea of love.

And I got caught up with the wrong boy who taught me that 

I'm only as good as what I can give.

And what I can lose.

Now I feel as cold as ice and I won't let anyone in

because I've got more to lose.

I'm more skeptical.

When I see a boy and girl kissing in the halls and they say those magic words

My thoughts:

"Yeah right."

But I have to realize that every boy I meet is going to have a little

part of him in them. And I just need to get over it.

But I still don't know what love is.