Beautiful Locks

I'm scared.

I'll be cutting my hair tomorrow.

But I don't want to.

I love my long hair.

I love the way it tickles the backs of my arms and how it gets caught in between my back and the driver's seat of my car.

I love how I can put it up and out of the way.

I love how it's almost to the middle of my back.

I just love it.

But like I've said before, I cut it a couple years back into a style that was too high-maintenance.

There are so many layers that my hair looks really thinned at the bottom and really thick at the top.

Not cute.

So I'm cutting it to give it a healthier chance to grow.

And I know I sound really pathetic and dramatic.

But I can't help it.

I'm really attached. 

Through Trees

The other day I was laying outside

and I was looking up at the trees.

And there was a slight breeze.

The trees swayed back and forth and I kinda had the impression

I was underwater.

If you've ever been in the ocean and laid at 

the bottom, looked up and seen the waves rolling past you,

that's kinda what it looked like from where I was laying

under the trees.

~~~~~~

The other night I was outside

and I saw something fly above me and into

one of our trees.

And it made a small screeching sound.

The owls are back for the summer :)

I'm so excited!

Niall Horan

There's just something about a guy when he wears

a cardigan and slacks

And when his hair is the color of sunlight and his eyes are

as blue as the sea

And he has crooked teeth

and an Irish accent.

ooooh swoon.

More Lemon in the Cut

You go through this life.

And what screws you up the most is the picture

in your head of how it's suppose to be.

Or in my case:

You have a picture of who someone should be.

But they aren't.

And they probably will never change.

And you find out something about them

that just shakes you to the core.

And you feel like giving up.

But you get your second wind and you realize

You can do it.

Many Words and Many Adventures

“We read to know that we are not alone.” 

- C.S. Lewis

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Tell-Tale Signs

It's getting worse.

Every time I'm with him

I find more things that I like about him.

And when I'm not with him,

I count down the hours until I see him.

He makes me feel safe and wonderful.

there are still doubts in the back of my mind.

But right now I'm content with how things are

and I'm willing to be happy.

Him :)

Agreed.

Service

This last week I had the most amazing experience ever.

I had the chance to go serve a family in New Mexico/Arizona

we've been planning this youth conference since November

and it was so rewarding to see everything come together.

We planned to fix up their home because it was in such disrepair.

Let me just say this:

I've never been more bruised, paint splattered, cut, sunburned, tired, dirty and sore

in my entire life.

But I've never been happier.

I realized why Christ's life was so centered around service

It's what made Him happy.

And it's what made others happy.

And I was sad to leave.

I didn't want to.

There was so much more we could've done.

Well, there was more I could have done. 

But I think we changed their lives.

~~~~~~~~~~

But while I was there I got to know a lot of the youth in our ward.

Especially a certain boy.

He is amazing.

He and Alexis (my future college roommate) were our youth leaders for the week.

That's a huge responsibility.

And they were awesome.

But it was really impressive (and really adorable) to

see him walking around with his little pen and pad of paper,

writing down jobs that needed to get done

and then delegating who would go where.

He just worked so hard.

I'm just so proud of him :)

But its really nice to be home 

and to be clean :)

Serving

So this week I'll be in Arizona for Youth Conference!

I'm so excited!!

We've been planning this since last November 

and I can't believe it's finally here.

But I'll miss home, probably.

And Pinterest.

oooh. I'm really gonna miss Pinterest.

So tootles!

One More

Last night I got to hang out with my friend Sadie and Mr. Awesome

We went to Discovery Park and totally messed around.

I love acting like a child.

And I'm pretty silly.

I love that he laughs and just goes along with it.

But he's pretty ridiculous too.

He was throwing bark chips at me and totally asking for it.

{Tickling him is probably the most adorable thing ever. Just makes me smile thinking

about it}

So he's spinning me around on this twirly thing and he throws another bark chip.

I've had it.

So he runs for his life {smart} and I chase after him.

But my stupid shoes have absolutely no traction so when he rounded

a corner, and I followed,

my shoulder clipped a post.

And it hurt.

{I hate that sudden burst of pain.}

But I could hear him stop running and pause, so I decided to use the injury to my advantage.

He's a nice guy so I knew he would come back for me.

A few whimpers and moans later, he's getting closer and closer.

And....

GOT HIM!

Tickle tickle tickle!!

Muahaha!

I win. :)

Tragic Flaw

I think my one tragic flaw is

that I'm too hopelessly romantic

When I hug him, I just don't wanna let go.

You would think after all I've been through

and had my heart so terribly broken that after 2 years,

I'm still picking up pieces, that I would've learned something

That's a big fat nope!

I seem to be as willing to throw myself into danger as I was 4 years ago.

But a small part of me says that there is no danger.

And that he's different.

And he is.

He really is.

He'll actually talk to me and care what I have to say.

He puts down the video games (or even dies during) because he 

wants to talk to me.

He's not a jerk.

He's never done anything intentional to hurt me.

He's an amazing guy. Really.

These Moments

That moment when he leans in 

and my stomach drops.

That moment when he looks at me over his glasses

and my tummy flips.

That moment when he squeezes my hand

and my heart flutters.

That moment when he talks in a silly voice

and I giggle.

Missing Something

I miss my best friend.

He's away for the week,

working.

And I wish he would come back already

cause I need my daily dose of crazy.

Dearest Mum

I just love my mom.

So much.

She just knows exactly what to say

to calm my troubled thoughts

It's going to be weird when she won't be there 24/7

I'll be at college and on my own

and I won't be able to say,

"Hey, I need dye! Can you come with me to get it cause I have no idea

what I'm doing."

And she'll grab her keys and purse, "Sure, sweetie."

Sigh. I'm going to miss her.

But she'll always be a phone call away.

That Four Letter Word

Do I even know what love is?

Does it come in fireworks and a huge dramatic splendor?

Or does it come quietly, softly and creeping up on you

until you're lying in bed and you think,

"Huh."

I don't think I know what love is, at least when it comes 

to boys.

But I know what it isn't.

And a certain boy is to blame, along with my blind eyes and wistful heart.

Now I feel like I'm broken and I don't know what to believe.

Three years ago I was as soft as butter, emotionally.

And I was in love with the idea of love.

And I got caught up with the wrong boy who taught me that 

I'm only as good as what I can give.

And what I can lose.

Now I feel as cold as ice and I won't let anyone in

because I've got more to lose.

I'm more skeptical.

When I see a boy and girl kissing in the halls and they say those magic words

My thoughts:

"Yeah right."

But I have to realize that every boy I meet is going to have a little

part of him in them. And I just need to get over it.

But I still don't know what love is.

Up and Up

First off, I'm a silly girl.

I think that's pretty clear.

Ever since Prom, my perspective has changed.

Some people aren't what you expect them to be.

Like I've said, he gives me butterflies.
Those looks he gives me across the room,
as if he's daring me.

But I didn't know how deeply he felt for me.

Until I read what he wrote

about me.

Maybe summer romance will finally happen to me

Who knows? :)

The Truth

Sometimes you have to wake up.

Dreams or not,

everything has an end.

Mr. X unfortunately is no more.

And don't worry.

I still think he's an incredible guy. Honestly, cream of the crop.

But he's a little too thick. {see what I did there? cream? thick? eh eh?}

He just wasn't getting it.

And now he's moving on to bigger and better things

and he'll forget I was even in his Sunday School class

{Gasp! Who could he be?}

Well, I'm still not telling. Only a few are privy to that information.

But it was a fun little crush while it lasted.

Now on to more exciting things :)

This is going to be a fun summer.

P.s. I'm thinking of changing my blog title,

since I'm not in a strange world anymore.

But I'm still silly.

Any suggestions?

Butterflies

He drives fifteen minutes to bring me a jacket, 

cause I'm freezing

And he gives me butterflies.

I hate to love that feeling.

Ah summer :)